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Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 8:51 pm
by betterinrecovery
Hi There to you both!
Wishing you well at this time of the month.
Nice to read that you are doing reasonably o.k.

me? not doing so well.
see below....

Pressure to get a new job, before I hurt myself emotionally or physically or most likely both.

Got my CV up and could see that I have never really been very well and it has affected how long I stay in a job, and though I have an ology or two I tend to go for really poorly paid jobs with poor conditions. :o

It is amazing to know what employers can and will get away with. :evil:

So I need to find a job.

On a positive note...I am keeping on with the knitting. It has been the difference between low mood and really low ruminations that take me to a darker place.

I have a book called the Knitters Bible by Clare Crompton,
it is handy, as it gives the instructions for embosed patterns, textured work and cable patterns....
you know the stuff that looks really complicated, but it isn't in this book.
A few years ago I made a cabled blanket, I took pictures of it and then I gave it away-
looking back at the pictures, I now realise it was really good and I maybe should have kept it.
Hind-sight is marvelous, not so?

Trying to shake off the blues - so went for a walk, got a bus and came back with more yarn. I fancy having a go at a textured waist-coat. not sure if I have enough yarn, so will go sort that out. Might try to join an online knitting circle so that I can get help if I get stuck with the knitting.
That's me...just needed to talk.

Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:49 am
by betterinrecovery
Hi Maisi and Chris!
was very sad yesterday.
my husband is doing his best but what can he do?
To be honest, loneliness is part of the problem...never have learnt how to 'join' groups,
always on the outside.

we acquired a giant frozen turkey!!! yes giant and frozen!!!
We have defrosted it.
My husband is the roaster in the house --roast pork, lamb, beef...turkey.
Anyway, the turkey arrived unexpectedly...just as I was happily waving goodbye to Christmas :roll:

Back to loneliness...
people here will gladly wave (some of 'em), but that is as far as it goes. Can you imagine living somewhere and in 8 years only being invited into one person's home? Not kidding. There is a sort of clique thing going on in the town. We are a racially mixed couple, so I don't think that is o.k. with some.
Sorry to say this, just needing to share.
I am feeling really rubbish, that is why I am saying more than I should on an open forum.

I know that someone will recommend I do a CBT exercise and break the problem down into smaller bits and then tackle each problem. Someone will recommend that I brainstorm each part of the problem and come up with some ideas for solving my problems.
Someone will recommend that I contact charities that run befriending schemes or that that volunteer somewhere or other.
Someone might recommend that I get to know my neighbours and invite them in for coffee. :?:

How do I know? 'Cos I have tried the above several times.

So what to do?
Well first thank you guys for reading the post - it is not very cheery or festive.

Then maybe have a think and a pray and see if I can't find some hope and a way to solve my problems.

Thank you again for reading,
your miserable friend :roll:


Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 8:58 pm
by maisi
Hi B,

Really sad to hear you feeling low. I don't think you were saying anything too specific. I don't know if I have any suggestions that aren't what you've already tried, but I'm not at my brightest so may come up with something and come back to it. My first thought about loneliness is that, however long it's gone on for, when solutions come (new friends and acquaintances), the change can be almost instant- I mean when you click with someone new, it can very quickly make a big difference, and maybe even help lead to more good people too. sound to me like a really interesting and interested person, are there any causes you'd enjoy supporting where like minded people might be (it sounds like a suggestion you've already considered though). I'm so glad you've got a caring husband.

I've wanted loneliness and isolation for years even though those aren't really what I wanted, it was avoiding triggers, but now they well and truly have been triggered, I'm trying to sort it all out, including how can I build up social skills and experiences, having narrowed my life down so much. Oh- so I am entirely the wrong person to try and help! :roll: :oops: :lol:

I really hope prejudice isn't part of the reason, that would be a sad reflection on where the UK is at.

A giant turkey after Christmas, that is quite funny.

Please keep a big slice of hope in your heart


Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 12:49 pm
by christabel
Hi to you both.

My best wishes for 2019. Sending a (hug) to you both. It sounds as though you need it. Me too actually. Epidemic going on.

Usually the fact it's all over takes the weighed down feeling off my shoulder be to be honest I feel pretty rubbish.
I've been down the loneliness route partly through shutting everyone out because of family problems and being disillusioned with people I thought were trustworthy and cared. When I actually saw how they behaved about other people I realised they were likely the same about me. Loving a juicy bit of gossip was all they cared about.
I am sorry about that. Looks as though I am on a low.

It may do me good to go on to the rant page to let it all out.

P.S. were still eating ham. Omelette today.

X Chris

Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 12:08 am
by betterinrecovery
Thank you, you guys.
Real struggle right now.
Phoned Samaritans....not thinking of killing myself, just trying to find a way out of this.
I try so hard to be well.

About food.
Today a pasta bake with cheese from a cheese board that was supposed to be a present for someone. With slices of tomato on the top.

There are green peppers in the veg basket in the fridge so maybe Mexican wraps tomorrow.
Maybe talking about food will help me and give me hope. I have a GP appointment but it is 3 weeks away. It is obvious from my demeanour and all that I am ill, why won't people help me?

Best wishes

Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 10:55 am
by betterinrecovery
Dear Chris and Maisi,
Obviously difficult for me just now.
Trying to entertain idea that things can get better.
I hope I can behave in a way that does not frighten people off.
I have a very long shift in the next few days, that should occupy me a bit.

I will go to the 'Rant' page.

I hope you guys are doing o.k.


Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:08 pm
by christabel
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so poorly b. Things will get better, not that we can see that at times.
I cope much better these days by understanding that I will have bad times, give myself rest and TLC when it happens.

It is a horrible feeling, that no one wants to help you when you are feeling so bad. Usually it because they have no comprehension of how bad we feel.
I know how it feels so can totally sympathise. Be kind to yourself. I wish I was there to give you a hug.( if I may) And perhaps make you a hot drink.

Try to ride it out b. Look to doing something you really like. Don't let bad thoughts in.
Take care and thanks for all the support you have been on the forum lately. You are very valued.
Xxx Chris

Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:08 pm
by maisi
Hi B and Chris,

Sending a hello and hopes for some comfort and upturn coming your way B- of course it will, but as Chris says, it's the hanging in there till it inevitably comes. Like the warm, delicate light of a candle flame, it probably starts small and grows.

Curries and spreadsheet practise this evening. I don't really post anymore about what's on my mind, I get paranoid. But I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to talk and share with such kind and tolerant people.


Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 8:54 am
by betterinrecovery
Dear Maisi, Dear Chris,
Hello to you kind people,
Thank you for helping me through a very horrible time.
I hope you are both O.K.
Yes, I was glad of the hug and the good wishes.

Re: Cooking for Comfort

Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:28 pm
by maisi
Hi B,

really good to hear from you, and glad you've been able to use the forum for yourself a bit, as well as all the support you offer to others.

Maisi x