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Jokes

If it makes you smile...
sirhugo
Posts: 630
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby sirhugo » Sat Apr 21, 2018 1:01 pm

A man goes up to the bar to order a pint. The barman says to him "do you want to see something cool?" "yeah go on then" the man replies. the barman pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny man, about 12 inches high, sits down starts playing Beethoven.

man: where the hell did you get that?
barman: I found a lamp. I rubbed it and a genie popped out and granted me 3 wishes
man: damn I wished id found it first
barman: I've still got the lamp. you want a shot?
man: yes please

the man takes the lamp and rubs. the genie pops out

man: genie, I wish to be the worlds greatest fuck

the genie snaps his fingers. immediately the man turns into a duck.

man: what the hell?
barman: oh yeah I forgot to warn you. the genies hard of hearing
man: how'd you know that?
barman: you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist??????

christabel
Posts: 2110
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:49 am

Re: Jokes

Postby christabel » Sat Jun 02, 2018 6:14 pm

Ida and Evaline standing outside care home having a drink and cigarette when it starts to rain.

Ida pulls a condom out of her pocket cuts the end off and slips it over her ciggie. 'What are you doing' Evaline asks.

Ida replies ' it's the best way of keeping my cigarette dry, you should try it'
So, next day Evaline goes to pharmacy and asks for packet of condoms. The young sales assistant blushes having to ask a ninety year old what brand and size she requires.

Evaline states she does mind which brand it is as long as it fits a camel.
;)

deb1960
Posts: 1840
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 8:14 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby deb1960 » Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:07 pm

Last 2 jokes.
Dirty but funny

darrinwoods
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 10:05 am

Re: Jokes

Postby darrinwoods » Sat Jun 22, 2019 1:06 pm

Thanks for making me smile. :)

maisi
Posts: 527
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby maisi » Sun Jun 30, 2019 10:05 pm

Why should you never buy 2nd hand trousers in Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

darrinwoods
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2019 10:05 am

Re: Jokes

Postby darrinwoods » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:16 pm

:D

auger55
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:17 am

Re: Jokes

Postby auger55 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:50 am

Receptionist to psychologist: "Doctor, there's a patient here who thinks he's invisible."

"Tell him I can't see him right now."

monkol
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2019 3:15 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby monkol » Fri Sep 13, 2019 3:22 pm

auger55 wrote:Receptionist to psychologist: "Doctor, there's a patient here who thinks he's invisible."

"Tell him I can't see him right now."


This one is funny :lol:

prycejosh1987
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:30 pm

Re: Jokes

Postby prycejosh1987 » Sun Jul 19, 2020 5:44 pm

I love McDonalds.


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