Dating thread

[lobster]

Please add your own experiences of dating when you have an invisible disabiity and/or mental illness. Anything goes. Funny,disastrous, go ahead - post it here!

So I felt ready for a relationship, my last one, the toy boy,) had decided he needed to 'find himself' which, given he was gorgeous and only 20yrs was kinda inevitable.
Joined a dating site. Drank some wine and filled in the details. Took forever. Nearly gave up three times, but a friend came over and I persevered. Very painful bit - finding a photo of myself. Then the inevitable 'what is your job?' question which, get this, HAD to be filled in.

Well I survived a brain haemorhage, I have had my skull removed, a team of surgeons have dug about in my brain, alot of peope die from this, so no, I don't have a job! I do however sleep alot. I'm good at that. Call me a professional pyjama wearer?

No such thing exists - the categories were, in no particular order: tradesperson/clerical/creative/technology/mechanics/manual/ managerial/etc etc. I guess I just don't fit the box. The dating site INSISTED I put something in the 'job' category so I put 'gardener' cos I've got a garden and I occassionally remember it exists and needs looking after.

First date.
Media guy. Very cool. Too cool for me. Said he went to 'club 540 in Soho' is that meant to mean something to me?
Second date
Creative guy. Second date was planned but he cancelled. Having nothing to lose I asked him if he could tell if I had a brain injury, he replied with 'are you joking? No.' That's cos I look normal.
Third date
Social worker! I thought I may be onto something, maybe he would have the skills to cope with a professional pyjama wearer? But he made it clear he wanted love at first sight! Fireworks!
Fourth date ... ? I may just call it quits...

[toxicmind]

hi lobster don't give up im sure you will find someone special around the next corner who will like you for who you are despite your brain injury..take care x

[AquariusComfort]

First I am new to this site. Second I hate dating. I want to get past the dating part, and just be in a comfortable committed relationship, and get past the infatuation stage. I hate that stage. It is very uncomfortable for me, for I am confused about my feelings, and put on such a high I fall down hard. Anyway I am terrible at dating, and can not even ask a girl out. They either ask me out, or it is an online relationship. I am very self conscious on how I am over talkative, and not always a good listener.

Has anyone here ever seen the new movie, "Silver Linings Playbook"? Awesome movie. It is basically on the subject that we are talking about, dating with mental illness. It is hilarious, and done in a very sweet, sensitive way so we can laugh at ourselves. I can definitely relate to to some of the guy's quirks. LOL Although in reality it can be very sad for when people see those quirks, they run fast.


Technically I am a relationship now I think, although she has talked to me very infrequently, because she is going through something pretty rough I think. It is a long distance relationship. I am guessing because she will not tell me, and I pretty much figured out it is because she has not stopped grieving for her ex.

Anyway in the beginning of the relationship I did the typical things such as being overly emotional, over explanative, over apologetic about myself. She actually took a half day off from work to talk to me, because she was upset. I did do better after that, although many of those annoying quirks where there. I even tried to give a safe word type of deal if i was talking too much, not listening, or going off on a tangent. She would type in the emoticon of smily face with a band aid over it's mouth, and it was the hint for me to stop. or she would just say stop, if i went too far. it seemed to work pretty good, but she still was quite annoyed to even have to do that.

Now she is going through something, and it is not right that she has not basically talked to me in a month and half, and just disappeared over night after giving me a kiss goodnight with no explanation except to lie that her computer brook down. Despite that I have been loyal, thinking she one of first woman that i was very attracted too, that kinda knew my ADHD quirks, and still gave me a chance. Why should I abandon her at her most low?

So in the movie they make it funny, but in real life they are not so funny, unless you count me asking my sister which way to turn, and she says right, and I turn left, because I do not pay attention, and get distracted easy. LOL

[lobster]

Hi Aquarius

Thanks for suggesting the film. I haven't heard of it so will check it out.
I hope things turn out ok for you.

Lobster

[sad]

Hi

My relationship with myself is already dis-functional without adding someone else to contribute. That's like having your right leg broken and in plaster and putting a roller-skate on your left foot!

Asking to fall again

[Pixie123]

Hi all
I'm a dating disaster gone wrong but there is hope
I'm not with the most fab wonderful man ever, he understands my BP he comes to support groups and he's just great.
We've been together 4 years and are getting married next year!
Yes it can happen!!!

[sad]

Hi pixie

I think i'm going to be sick

[Pixie123]

Hi pixie

I think i'm going to be sick

Yes it is a tad sickly lol