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by vitafragilis
Thu Jun 25, 2015 8:32 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Anxious and Depressed and Scared .......
Replies: 4
Views: 1426

Re: Anxious and Depressed and Scared .......

I can feel the pain and the frustration in your post. I know those feeling well. However, you say these are 'first world problems'. Unless you're depressed because your wifi router doesn't reach the top of your mansion, I doubt very much that that's true. Emotions are a human condition, not a moneta...
by vitafragilis
Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:07 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Impossible task
Replies: 2
Views: 626

Impossible task

A support worker has just dropped round with a prescription for diazepam which I'm pretty desperate for so I can get some rest. I begged for it yesterday when another worker came to see me. Today's guy couldn't wait. He basically threw the prescription at me and ran. You'd think I'd be happy now. Bu...
by vitafragilis
Sun Jun 14, 2015 7:02 pm
Forum: Safe Room
Topic: Incoherent and scared
Replies: 1
Views: 362

Incoherent and scared

I'm going to try to re read this topic a few times before I send it. The reason, I'm struggling to be coherent. My care co says I'm talking way too fast but at least with her I'm managing a recognisable conversation. You see, I've been messaging my friend over the past few days. I'm going to paste a...
by vitafragilis
Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:27 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Professionals making it harder
Replies: 3
Views: 647

Re: Professionals making it harder

Hi Acorn, I didn't actually take the pills today. I've been taking mini overdoses all week. I thought I could handle it. But all those people, and being outside...it's just too much. I think I'm overdosing to make my body fail me in the same way my mind has. These overdoses this week have not been s...
by vitafragilis
Fri Jun 12, 2015 8:13 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Professionals making it harder
Replies: 3
Views: 647

Professionals making it harder

I'm lucky. I have professional support in the community, have been offered EMDR, and have done more inpatient stays to learn skills than I dare to count. However, it's difficult. Dave (one of my outreach workers) came by this afternoon. I could barely move off the sofa to answer the door. I've lost ...
by vitafragilis
Thu Jun 11, 2015 12:37 am
Forum: Creative Corner
Topic: My inability to admit - poems
Replies: 4
Views: 4116

My inability to admit - poems

I wrote these two poems about the problems I have when I meet with the mental health professionals. They criticise me for saying "I'm okay" or "I'm fine", and they get angry when I stop answering their questions and turn into a mute. I know I need to speak if I want people to und...
by vitafragilis
Wed Jun 10, 2015 2:38 pm
Forum: Rant Room
Topic: Why am I so useless? *trig*
Replies: 3
Views: 1032

Re: Why am I so useless? *trig*

Thanks for replying. How frustrating that your original reply got lost. I'm grateful for anything though. It's just good to know I'm not alone. I hope I didn't trigger you too much if you've been in a similar place. I needed to get it out. I feel so useless. I'm beating myself up big style and hatin...
by vitafragilis
Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:48 pm
Forum: Rant Room
Topic: Why am I so useless? *trig*
Replies: 3
Views: 1032

Why am I so useless? *trig*

Why? Just why? Why am I a useless heap on the sofa, scared to leave my home, downing handfuls of vaguely dangerous pills with slugs of vodka each day? Why am I self destructing? Why is my mind so lost? But, today, more than that. Why can't I help my friends? Why do I have so many sodding dysfunction...
by vitafragilis
Wed Jun 10, 2015 10:20 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: What is happening to me?
Replies: 2
Views: 411

What is happening to me?

I feel like I'm dissolving. That's the only way I can describe it. My body is giving up on me. I can't sleep worth a damn, my hands shake, my muscles cramp continuously, my tongue is sore, I can't walk straight. I think my mind has gone somewhere where it's got lost. I spent the early hours writing ...
by vitafragilis
Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:22 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: The morning after
Replies: 11
Views: 1019

Re: The morning after

Yes, I've had my thyroid tested. I have PCOS so it's been done a few times. I'm kinda infuriated with myself if this really is all BPD symptoms. I thought I'd beaten it. I've done 4 years of specialist inpatient treatment for it and really thought I had it cracked. I went a while with voices being t...

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