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by littleem
Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:44 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Quick update. I withdrew from the care assistant position. It was causing me too much anxiety. I've told the training provider and recruitment. Apparently I still have to do part of the training for being a domestic. I also should contact my manager but feel too anxious about doing so. Cleaning shif...
by littleem
Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:29 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Thanks markspencer672,

Even at my very lowest, I've always had hope. I'm in a better place these days but with positive change comes anxiety.
I'm glad you've got yourself in a good place. Stay strong. X
by littleem
Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:00 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hey M! How are you? Aw thank you. We've since had another really lovely day together. Although, unfortunately I am just at the tail end of a spectacularly crap weekend. It started Friday. My supervisor made a vulgar joke, colleagues laughed/fake laughed, and she directed at me for no reason: "S...
by littleem
Mon Jun 22, 2020 6:55 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hey M! :D I'm just on my way home from like the best day ever. Let's just say Em: 1 Anxiety Gremlin: Big fat zero with a cherry on top. :lol: I met with him today. Amazing, honestly. I'm so happy. I know this might seem really surprising and confusing because of my previous posts but I guess that's ...
by littleem
Fri Jun 19, 2020 2:25 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hey, Thanks. This sounds harsh of me, but sometimes he oversteps the line between affectionate and annoying. :roll: I did feel bad about my suggestion to ease things between us though - albeit until the restrictions are lifted - as I then realised just how much lockdown has affected him. I felt I ou...
by littleem
Sat Jun 13, 2020 12:34 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hello! :D How are you? How is your shoulder? I hope you are feeling stronger both mentally and physically. If the news is affecting your mental health, you've made a good decision to stop watching it. Gosh, you've been through an awful lot! I emphasise the word "through". You really are st...
by littleem
Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:01 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hey M! :) I'm not bad thanks. I had two really crappy days. I was on a high with work and the counselling course and golden roses.... then caught the BBC news which downright shocked and appalled me. The contradictory advice also boggled my brain and I felt dread and sadness about the prospective su...
by littleem
Wed Jun 03, 2020 6:25 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hey! How are you doing? :) How's the shoulder? Has the Pilates become a little easier? Just do what you can, if you want to. Any news on the meds? I'm sure your care co was not being flippant. Perhaps he was reassuring you by reminding you of how far you've come away from turning to those unhelpful ...
by littleem
Sat May 23, 2020 4:13 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.
Replies: 97
Views: 33668

Re: Not wanting to live.... but not wanting to die.

Hi M! :D Ohhh, I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling. *Big Hugs* How has your week been? Is your shoulder any better? Has your sleeping improved? You don't have to disclose the cause unless you want to, but perhaps think about what caused the anxiety. Address the root of the issue. In jobs pr...
by littleem
Sat May 16, 2020 11:43 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: Anxiety, Avoidance and Low Self Esteem
Replies: 2
Views: 1420

Anxiety, Avoidance and Low Self Esteem

I'm due to start a new job this week. Lots of positives about it. No negatives other than my insecurities. But my deep rooted insecurities have resurfaced. Fear of rejection, humiliation and exclusion. Fear of my insecurities around my personality, appearance, performance and identity being confirme...

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