Hi Susanna So sorry to read your story. I wonder if the article here https://psychcentral.com/lib/narcissistic-mothers/ rings any bells? The thought that helps me at the worst times is that I know from experience that they will pass. I know I will find fun and joy again one day. I know that my exper...

Was waiting in for a delivery all day yesterday, sleep problems left me too tired to do much of anything aside from Netflix, overslept today. Too long inside on my own, feeling it sap my mood. I have done a little cleaning and tidying, doesn't sound like much unless you know chronic depression but a...

Note to self: Answering messages from my mother triggered a steep drop in mood. Better now. She is not my responsibility. Put myself first.

MH services can be really good or really crap. I'm always in the position of being seen as functional because I hold down a job and am not a danger to others. Budgets push resource to other people.

I'm glad you are finally getting the medical care you deserve.

Hi Ooby!

Shame about the lack of responses, this place is quieter than ever.

Really glad you have your diagnosis. Shows how well you have coped over the years without all the recommended support. Well done you.

Take care of yourself.

ATTMP

Diary Entry

Good Progress! I have been able to notice my self-critical motivational voice and ignore it.
Feeling miles better as a result. Still not getting things done but at least I am not tearing myself apart about it. Next step is to find new motivation.

Diary Entry Been considering my motivation issues. Just realised my go to motivation techniques are self abuse (not the fun kind) and fear. I wonder if that is a contributor? I wonder if my increasing resilience to these emotional self-assaults has contributed to my lack of motivation. I wonder if m...

Diary Entry My mood wasn't great before the drinks because I have been beating myself up a lot lately and because I am very conscious of getting older and various signs my body is not doing well. I am frustrated at myself for not doing more to help myself. I am frustrated when this bloody depression...

Diary Entry Nice evening with some nice friends but it was a mistake to drink, especially when I knew my mood wasn't great. Dealing with the aftermath now. Dwelling on crap experiences and negative predictions, feeling deeper than down. Oh well, at least it was only three drinks. I will be alright a...

Hi Your dad does have problems, the behaviour you described with flattery/blame/flattery/blame is going to mess up anyone. His sexualised behaviour towards you was totally out of order and you have every right to feel upset about it and it is not surprising if both behaviours leave you with issues a...