Diary Entry 20 September 2020 So, over the last few weeks, I have been slowly slipping down the well of depression. Tonight, I am full of sadness and sorrow and a little jealousy. I used to love living in a student area. At this time of year, the energy and excitement of the freshers is wonderful. T...

Thank You!!!

Sounds good, I think you are right about the Covid anxiety stuff.

Chat through our normal channels soon.
xxx

Diary Entry 18 September 2020

My thinking and my anger is moving over to the bullies among my childhood peers. This bullying, at school and in the neighbourhood, has had a much bigger impact on me than I have previously realised. Having been bullied by so many people is a hard thing for me to admit.

Diary Entry 17 September The entries below were made over the last couple of months, as I read a self-help book. CPTSD: From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker. 2 August 2020 I'm already finding the ideas incredibly helpful. Too much to break down now but it really is helping with my recent effort...

Diary Entry 13 September Question to self. Is my perfectionism an attempt to gain the acceptance of my mother (my mental construct of my mother, rather that the actual... person, for want of a better term)? Diary Entry 14 September Almost a great acronym for dealing with emotions. IPADSS Identify Pr...

Thursday 10 September I really enjoyed time with friends yesterday. The abject loneliness, following parting, has kicked in today. It is such a strong emotion, like sadness, it is so, so, strong. I will see if focusing on anger dilutes this loneliness. Saturday 12 September I've done very little sin...

Monday 7 September I was thinking about how I used to hide my light under a bushel at work. I self-evaluated as having improved in confidence by taking part and showing my worth, but on reflection I see that although I do that for work tasks, I still shrink from discussing my personal life. I'm stil...

Diary Entry 1 September It hasn't been a great few days and I am posting this a few hours before dawn, so still not great. I've not exercised since Friday. Despair is creeping in to my thoughts, like a stale fart creeping into my sinuses. I have been reinforcing thoughts of what I never had as a chi...

The abject loneliness and the sense of being fundamentally different and not belonging anywhere, cut right to the heart of it. Heavy stuff!