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by painkillerv3
Wed Aug 28, 2013 5:25 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

What do I say? what can I say? this will be the last time you hear from me, anyone indefinitely. What do I say really, my life has been terrible since the moment I stepped into it and nothing ever changes, all things I enjoy get taken from me. I have survived this long knowing one day I will put it ...
by painkillerv3
Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:06 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

Honestly, im wondering why I am still here and still standing as though nothing has happened. Night before last fell into a pit of helplessness and depression and took a rather large amount of pills, fine the following morning but then decided to get drunk and still fine despite pills night before. ...
by painkillerv3
Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:02 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

I just cant keep going on like this. i just called crisis team hoping they could give me a solution other than harming or suicide but I should have not tried to ask for help since I always know the answer is the same- sorry cant help. you have to ask where do you really go in a crisis? back to old h...
by painkillerv3
Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:29 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

I cant bare to be without my wife for another week a year seems so so long, all the events like my birthday in october I will be alone when its usually a day we spend together with no phones etc and she makes me a special dinner but not this year but her dad who shares the same birthday as me will g...
by painkillerv3
Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:43 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

Im nonestly almost at my end, things only get worse. I miss my wife but can have nothing to do with her cant even call her and there is no chance in the future of us being one again. I must now do the hardest thing a loving husband has to do and a husband that revolves sole around his wife as his li...
by painkillerv3
Sat Aug 24, 2013 1:59 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

There will always be someone for you, running is a natural thing when you are afraid of something maybe you are more afraid you may enjoy yourself? its hard when your at the bottom you stay there long enough and the things of joy or potential of joy you just dont want to try in fear of falling again...
by painkillerv3
Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:36 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

There will be someone some day that will love you that much that I promise. I am of no use to anyone and what I did in order to protect my family was a waste and the agony im in also a waste. My own MH team does not even want to help me, I mentioned my situation and that a hanging event took place a...
by painkillerv3
Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:50 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK *TRIG*

I can never explain the love for my wife, I can never love anyone or anything like I love her and will never feel that love or strength again. I sacrificed all my life's pleasures in order to protect my child, I love them more than anything but it can never be again I know that and know there is no ...
by painkillerv3
Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:30 pm
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK

I respect your opinion but selfishness is no part of it. I had to give up everything before the baby was born to ensure it would have a good life then I had to sacrifice my wife so that my daughter may survive with her family. I have not told the whole story but it comes down to proving my wife has ...
by painkillerv3
Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:34 am
Forum: Mutual Support Group
Topic: PK *TRIG*
Replies: 109
Views: 23803

Re: PK

I'm still standing in the sense im still around. I know alot of you can not understand the terminology of "machine" as im lonely and need a distraction right now I will endeavor to explain it. I was built to be an "attack drone" within the family war zone to follow orders and obj...

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